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The baby won't take it so she says, "Come on, eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here." Ten minutes later, the baby is still not feeding so she says again, "Eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here". The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari.The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I should've got off four stops ago! The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. "Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. You guessed it - her share of the lotto winnings...Using other people’s research or ideas without giving them due credit is plagiarism.

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The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?

" POLICE #1 While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoelace? Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. " ELDERLY While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents..." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.

During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.

Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop? My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. " It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.