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A friend of mine reminded me of the way, at sleepovers, we used to go into chat rooms, pretend to be in our 20s, and try to get men to “cyber,” the AIM version of phone sex.

Another friend recalled the time a boy we knew from school told us to get drunk while we chatted.

“Do you remember what it felt like for a relative stranger to be like: ‘I see you’? It felt like cartwheeling down a moving walkway, going with the flow and yet still sticking the landing.

But developing a sexual identity was as difficult as choosing a screen name.

I found myself asking questions that reminded me of being a teenager, the sort of things you could only ask in the middle of the night, and he always responded candidly. It had been years since I got to know a relative stranger that well.