You’ve probably been suffering through sexless dates with men since you were that coveted teenage girl whom all the boys wanted in their yard.
While men are notoriously terrified of settling down and missing out on the debaucheries of the bachelor life, the very opposite is true for a girl.
We are nesters by nature, and constantly have to fight the urge to make you a copy of our keys that fine moment we matched on Tinder (don’t all modern love stories start on Tinder? If you neglect to escape the dreaded curse of the U-Haul, and find yourself moved in by date #2 -- by the time you reach date #5, you will probably be blissfully married (or "domestic partners" depending on how repressed a state you live in) with two adopted adult cats and a thriving organic kale garden you and your partner affectionately tend to in matching flannel (JK... By date #7, you will have filed for divorce, and be in the throes of a vicious custody battle over the two adopted adult cats.
The time has come my fellow precious, lady-loving, Sapphic Sisters to get the f*ck out of the closet.
I don't care how you wish to identify (lesbian, bisexual, queer, questioning, pansexual, WHATEVER).
In the world of dating and f*cking boys, sex is but a complex animal overwhelmingly nerve-racking and tricky to decipher.