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While we played, security goons watched closely, and my dad could tell that we were nervous: "Just act like you are supposed to be here, and they won't ask any questions." Sure enough, it worked. Once I've made it into bed with a girl, no way I'm going to let my stupid mouth wreck things.

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Sign up for shopittome.com's "Sale Mail." They'll e-mail you when brands you've chosen have gone on sale in your size and in your area. Once I accepted that women were "crazy" (many older guys had insisted they were for years), it seemed to take a huge load of pressure off me.

No longer was I trying to rationalize moves that women made that got me into crazy analysis cycles.

We want to bail the morning after a one-night stand. I'm foul when I'm hung over, so I am sure others are too. Do everything you can to get home and fester in your own bed. Give each other a hug, wish each other well, don't say anything about calling, and don't believe him when he mutters that he will call you. There is no reason women wouldn't understand or know sports like guys do if they were as obsessed. That "up against the wall" variation is tougher than it sounds.

I just think guys across the board are more sports-obsessed than women are. The entire shower apparatus is so slippery, and then you have soap all over the place. Plus, I do my best to keep my bathroom clean, but I don't think I'd ever want to have sex anywhere near something called "mildew." think you're crazy sometimes, but only because it makes things easier for us.

But what's even lamer: when some outsider tries to use the language, without the ability to contribute. My friends and I would discuss how she was trying to speak like us, and it got to the point where I bristled every time I heard her speak one of our made-up words. Make sure you cater what you wear to what you're doing. I make myself look really picky and difficult to get to.