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You just couldn’t wait to see them again, so you made it a priority in your calendar. Don’t assume you already know what your spouse thinks/feels/knows about a certain subject even though you’ve been married for years. If you need some help, here are some fun Marriage Talk questions to spark conversation. You let them into your life, bit by bit, as you shared your thoughts and feelings and told stories.

You went out of your way to keep that appointment—going into work early if you needed to so you could be sure to get away on time. And your commitment to being there was a silent message to them: 2. Don’t just default to dinner or takeout and a movie. Don’t assume your spouse knows/understands all about you just because you have said it before.

If that’s you, let me suggest some ways to breathe new life into your relationship by going back to your dating days.

In addition to working on Your Date Night Checklist, reflect with me on the six things that may have characterized your early days building your relationship, and see how you can re-cultivate some of them. You used to look forward to the next time you would be together.

It may sound harsh, but why put yourself through heartache when it can be avoided?